Sunday, October 14, 2012

Why Worrying Gets You Nowhere - Self Improvement Tips

how to stop worrying

If you?re anything like me, you worry so much that you just want to pull your hair out. In such cases, I want you to slowly take your hand away from your head, and sit on it for your own good.

You probably worry about things that hasn?t happened, won?t ever happen, or things that has happened, but are out of your control. Hey, you?re just like me!

I felt inclined to reading this awesome book called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. The title of the book absolutely lives up to its word.

I needed a new book to read anyways. Perhaps I could also use a few pointers on how to live life as the title suggests.

The Worries Begins

The other day, I was driving to school and a traffic jam suddenly appeared out of nowhere. ?Just GREAT!? I thought. I was worrying my mind out. And it did not speed up traffic one bit; it only made my anxiety worse.

I had a million?things going through my head. ?I?m going to be late!? ?I?ll miss my assignment!? ?I will be late!? ?I am going to be so late!? ? Oh yes, I probably reminded myself that I was going to be late for at least a hundred thousands times? I?ll spare you the repetitiveness, and continue on with the story.

Looking back when that traffic jam happened, I realized that I could have enjoyed it. No, I?m not crazy. I?m only doing what the book suggests.?It was around 7 in the morning. I had good coffee brewed with me, and music going. There was a nice sunrise, and the caffeine hitting me made me feel alive.

So why was I worrying at all? It didn?t even speed up the process for me.

Even after all of this crazy morning, do you want to know what really happened in the end?

Things didn?t come out as I expected. Yep, that?s it.

Class was cancelled, and I ended up being 15 minutes early anyways. Geez, how in the world did that ever happen??You see, many things in life will happen unexpectedly to your favor. And you will question that to yourself.

How in the world did that ever happen?!

What Worrying Does

Dale Carnegie says that most of the time; we worry ourselves over things that will never happen.

You?re probably going to wonder, ?Well, what if it will happen???Well, there?s an answer to that.

And that answer is, don?t worry.

Are you in a situation that you take control of, or not?

If you are, then why worry? Why not take action instead of worrying about it? It doesn?t help to worry. It does the opposite. It makes you nervous, and possible screw you up with doing whatever it is that you?re doing.

If you are in a situation that you can?t control, worrying will not change anything, even if you wish upon some kind of miracle. I tried, and nothing ever happens. Let me repeat this in a different way.

If you are in a situation that cannot be changed by your own actions, worrying does not do a single thing, except bring down your health. (I?ll explain how it does later)

There are only three situations that may occur: it hasn?t happened, it won?t happen, or the situation has happened, but it is out of your control.?In any case of these situations, worrying does not do a single thing to help. But what does help is how you react to it in a positive way.

After finishing this book, I could have sworn that the book was trying to mess with me or something. Here?s the reason.

The very next day after finishing the book, I found out that I had missed an important deadline to something. When I found out, I wasn?t out of my mind, cursing out loud? I was calm. I wasn?t even worried one bit.

If I hadn?t read the book, I would have probably been shocked into oblivion, bang on tables, curse out loud; do anything that causes havoc. In the end, it would have not changed anything, except maybe show others how fiercely I can be at times.

Yes, I know it?s tough to act cool. Especially when you feel like it will be the end of the world. I have been there, and you have likely been there already.?But it doesn?t help one bit to worry. It doesn?t change anything at all. So what do you do during times like these? How do you act cool?

I took it as a learning lesson, and that?s the least I could do to benefit from it. After missing that deadline, it gave me more incentive to not forget any other important deadlines.?The way you react to something is much more important than what actually happens. Even if it?s out of your control, worrying does not help the situation one bit.

One thing is certain

Events will take place the way it intended to. You won?t always have control, so don?t stress over it. But when you do have control, don?t worry yourself. Start taking actions instead.?On the other hand, you always have full control on how you react to things.

So why else should you stop worrying? Because in the book, Dale Carnegie suggests that it prevents illnesses, like stomach ulcer, cancer, insomnia, and a whole bunch of other diseases. It has something to do with keeping your immune system high. I?m not going to question it, so take it as it is.

We have control of our emotion when something happens, and there are many methods provided in the book.

One of the methods is that if you blast music (can?t be a depressing song) and sing along with it, it?ll be hard to be worried or be sad. In this case, I like to sing along to La La La by LMFAO.

Another method listing in that book was to simply get so busy that you won?t have time to worry. When your mind is preoccupied with other things, you won?t have the time to worry about anything at all.

I realized that I wrote more than usual. I guess that?s when you know that it?s a good book!

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